The Sacrament of Holy Matrimony

Service of Betrothal

After the divine Liturgy, with the Priest standing in the Sanctuary, those who are to be joined take their stand before the Holy Doors, with the man on the right and the woman on the left. On the right side of the Holy Table are placed their two rings, one of gold and the other of silver. The silver one towards the right and the gold towards the left, close to each other. The Priest, having come into the narthex, signs the heads of those who are to be married three times and gives them lighted candles. He leads them into the Church and censes in the form of a cross.

The Priest questions them and asks the bride if she wishes to marry the groom, and likewise if the groom wishes to marry the bride.

Then, if there is a Deacon, he says:

DEACON

Master, give the blessing.

PRIEST

Blessed is our God, always, now and for ever, and to the ages of ages.

( Amen. )

DEACON

In peace, let us pray to the Lord.

( Lord, have mercy. )

For the peace from on high and for the salvation of our souls, let us pray to the Lord.

For the peace of the whole world, for the welfare of the holy Churches of God, and for the union of all, let us pray to the Lord.

For this holy house, and for those who enter it with faith, reverence and the fear of God, let us pray to the Lord.

For our Archbishop N, for the honoured order of presbyters, for the diaconate in Christ, for all the clergy and the people, let us pray to the Lord.

For the servant of God N. and the servant of God M., who are now being betrothed to one another, and for their salvation, let us pray to the Lord.

That they may be granted children for the continuation of the race and all their requests that are for their salvation, let us pray to the Lord.

That there may sent down to them perfect and peaceful love and help, let us pray to the Lord.

That they may be kept in concord and sure faith, let us pray to the Lord.

That they may be blessed with concord and sure faith, let us pray to the Lord.

That they may be preserved with a blameless manner and way of life, let us pray to the Lord.

That the Lord, our God, may grant them honourable marriage and a bed without defilement, let us pray to the Lord.

For our deliverance from all affliction, wrath, danger and constraint, let us pray to the Lord.

Help us, save us, have mercy on us, and keep us, O God, by your grace.

Commemorating our all-holy, pure, most blessed and glorious Lady, Mother of God and Ever-Virgin Mary, with all the Saints, let us entrust ourselves and one another and our whole life to Christ our God.

( To you, O Lord. )

For to you belong all glory, honour and worship, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, now and for ever, and to the ages of ages.

( Amen. )

DEACON

Let us pray to the Lord.

( Lord, have mercy. )

The Priest says the following Prayer out loud:

PRIEST

Eternal God, who brought into unity what had been separated and establish an unbreakable bond of agreement; who blessed Isaac and Rebecca, and declared them to be the heirs of your promise; bless these servants of yours also, guiding them in every good work.

For you, O God, are merciful, and love mankind, and to you we give glory, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, now and for ever, and to the ages of ages.

( Amen. )

Peace to all.

( And to your spirit. )

DEACON

Let us bow our heads to the Lord.

( To you, O Lord. )

The Priest prays:

PRIEST

Lord, our God, who once betrothed yourself to the Church from the nations as a pure virgin, bless this betrothal, and unite and preserve these servants of yours in peace and concord.

For to you belong all glory, honour and worship, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, now and for ever, and to the ages of ages.

( Amen. )

Then the Priest, having taken the rings on the dish, gives first to the man the gold one and says three times, as he makes the sign of the Cross with the ring on his forehead:

The servant of God N. betroths himself to the servant of God M., in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. ( Amen. ) (three times).

Then, having taken the silver ring, he does the same to the woman, saying:

The servant of God N. betroths herself to the servant of God M., in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. ( Amen. ) (three times).

And when he has spoken three times to each of them he makes the sign of the Cross with the ring on their foreheads and places the rings on their right fingers.

Then the Best Man changes the rings.

DEACON

Let us pray to the Lord.

( Lord, have mercy. )

PRIEST

Lord our God, you journeyed with the servant of the Patriarch Abraham in Mesopotamia when he was sent to obtain a wife for his lord Isaac, and by means of drawing water you revealed that he should betroth Rebecca. Bless the betrothal of your servants N. and M. and make firm the word that they have spoken. Confirm them with the holy unity that comes from you. For it was you who in the beginning created male and female, and it is by you that woman is linked to man as a helper and for the continuation of the human race. Therefore, Lord our God, who sent truth out to your inheritance and your promise to your servants, our fathers, your elect in every generation, look on your servant N. and your servant M., and make firm their betrothal in faith and concord and truth and love. For it is you, Lord, who declared that times a pledge is to be given and made firm in everything. By a ring authority was given to Joseph in Egypt. By a ring Daniel was glorified in the country of Babylon. By a ring the truth of Thamar was revealed. By a ring our heavenly Father showed compassion to the prodigal son. For he said, ‘Put a ring on his hand and bring out and slay the fatted calf, and let us eat and be joyful’. It was your right hand, Lord, that armed Moses at the Red Sea, for through your true word the heavens were made firm and the earth set on its foundations. And the right hand of your servants will be blessed by your mighty word and by your upraised arm. Therefore, Master, with your heavenly blessing now bless also this putting-on of rings. And may an Angel of the Lord go before them all the days of their lives.

For you are the One who blesses and sanctifies all things, and to you we give glory, to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and for ever, and to the ages of ages.

( Amen. )

Then Litany and Dismissal.

Service of Crowning or Marriage

If they wish to be crowned on the same occasion, they remain in the Church and the service of Crowning begins. If they wish to be crowned after some days, they enter the Church from the Narthex with lighted candles, preceded by the Priest, with the censer, singing:

Psalm 127

PRIEST

Blessed are those who fear the Lord

PEOPLE

Glory to you, our God, glory to you.

PRIEST

Who walk in his ways.

PEOPLE

Glory to you, our God, glory to you.

PRIEST

You will eat the fruits of your labours.

PEOPLE

Glory to you, our God, glory to you.

PRIEST

Blessed are you, and it will be well with you.

PEOPLE

Glory to you, our God, glory to you.

PRIEST

Your wife like a fruitful vine on the sides of your house.

PEOPLE

Glory to you, our God, glory to you.

PRIEST

Your children like newly planted olive trees all around your table.

PEOPLE

Glory to you, our God, glory to you.

See, this is how one who fears the Lord will be blessed.

PEOPLE

Glory to you, our God, glory to you.

May the Lord bless you from Sion, and may you see the good things of Jerusalem all the days of your life.

PEOPLE

Glory to you, our God, glory to you.

And may you see your children’s children. Peace upon Israel.

PEOPLE

Glory to you, our God, glory to you.

DEACON

Master, give the blessing.

The Priest, facing East and lifting up the book of the Gospel as usual, says in a clear voice:

PRIEST

Blessed is the Kingdom of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, now and for ever, and to the ages of ages.

( Amen. )

[During the Paschal period, i.e. from Pascha until the Ascension, Christ has risen from the dead, by death he has trampled on death, and to those in the graves given life. is sung three times.]

DEACON

In peace, let us pray to the Lord.

( Lord, have mercy. )

For the peace from on high and for the salvation of our souls, let us pray to the Lord.

For the peace of the whole world, for the welfare of the holy Churches of God, and for the union of all, let us pray to the Lord.

For this holy house, and for those who enter it with faith, reverence and the fear of God, let us pray to the Lord.

For our Bishop (or Archbishop) (name) for the honoured order of presbyters, for the diaconate in Christ, for all the clergy and the people, let us pray to the Lord.

For the servants of God N. and M., who are now being joined with one another in the communion of marriage, and for their salvation, let us pray to the Lord.

For this marriage to be blessed like that in Cana of Galilee let us pray to the Lord.

For them to be granted chastity and the fruit of the womb as may be expedient for them, let us pray to the Lord.

For them to be given the joy of seeing sons and daughters, let us pray to the Lord.

For them to be granted the delight of the blessing of children and a life without accusation, let us pray to the Lord.

For us and them to be given every request that is for salvation, let us pray to the Lord.

For their and our deliverance from all affliction, wrath, danger and constraint, let us pray to the Lord.

Help us, save us, have mercy on us, and keep us, O God, by your grace.

Commemorating our all-holy, pure, most blessed and glorious Lady, Mother of God and Ever-Virgin Mary, with all the Saints, let us entrust ourselves and one another and our whole life to Christ our God.

( To you, O Lord. )

For to you belong all glory, honour and worship, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, now and for ever, and to the ages of ages.

( Amen. )

DEACON

Let us pray to the Lord.

( Lord, have mercy. )

The Priest says the following prayer out loud:

PRIEST

God most pure, Author of all creation, through your love for mankind you transformed the rib of our forefather Adam into a woman and blessed them saying, ‘Increase and multiply and have dominion over the earth’, and declared them both to be one through wedlock, ‘for because of this a man will abandon his father and mother and be attached to his own wife, and the two shall become one flesh’ and ‘those whom God has joined together, let no human separate’.

You gave Isaac to Rebecca and blessed her offspring.

You joined Jacob with Rachel and from him revealed the Twelve Patriarchs.

You yoked together Joseph and Aseneth and gave them as the fruit of their union Ephraim and Manassee.

You accepted Zachary and Elisabeth and declared their offspring to be the Forerunner.

You made the Ever-Virgin spring from the root of Jesse according to the flesh, and from her you became incarnate and were born for the salvation of the human race.

Through your ineffable gift and great goodness you were present in Cana of Galilee and blessed the marriage there, to show that lawful wedlock and the begetting of children that comes from it is your will.

All-holy Master, accept the entreaty of us, your suppliants, and, as you were present there, be present here also with your invisible protection.

Bless this marriage and grant to these servants of yours, N. and M., a peaceful life, length of days, chastity, love for each other in the bond of peace, long-lived offspring, grace in their children and an unfading crown of glory.

Grant that they may see their children’s children.

Preserve their marriage bed unassailed.

Give them of the dew of heaven from on high and of the richness of the earth.

Fill their houses with wheat, wine and oil and every good thing, so that they may also share them with those in need.

Grant also to those here with them all their requests that are for salvation. Because you are a God of mercy and compassion and love for humankind, and to you we give glory, together with your Father who has no beginning, and your all-holy, good and life-giving Spirit, now and for ever, and to the ages of ages.

( Amen. )

DEACON

Let us pray to the Lord.

( Lord, have mercy. )

The Priest says the following prayer out loud:

PRIEST

Blessed are you, Lord our God, sacred Celebrant of the mystical and most pure marriage, Lawgiver of bodily marriage, Guardian of incorruption, loving Steward of our livelihood. In the beginning, Master, you fashioned man and established him as king of creation, and said, ‘It is not good for man to be alone on the earth. Let us make him a helper like himself.’ And taking one of his ribs you fashioned a woman. When Adam saw her he said, ‘Now this is bone from my bones and flesh from my flesh. She will be called ‘woman’ because she was taken from her man. For this reason a man will leave behind his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’. And ‘Those whom God has joined together, let no human separate’. Now, Master, Lord our God, send down your heavenly grace also on these servants of yours, N. and M., and grant that this handmaid of yours may be subject in all things to her husband and that this servant of yours may be the head of his wife, so that they may live in accordance with your will.

Bless them, Lord our God, as you blessed Abraham and Sara.

Bless them, Lord our God, as you blessed Isaac and Rebecca.

Bless them, Lord our God, as you blessed Jacob and all the Patriarchs.

Bless them, Lord our God, as you blessed Joseph and Aseneth.

Bless them, Lord our God, as you blessed Moses and Sepphora.

Bless them, Lord our God, as you blessed Joachim and Anna.

Bless them, Lord our God, as you blessed Zachary and Elisabeth.

Preserve them, Lord our God, as you preserved Noë in the Ark.

Preserve them, Lord our God, as you preserved Jonas in the belly of the whale.

Preserve them, Lord our God, as you preserved the three holy Youths from the fire, by sending down on them dew from heaven.

And let the joy come upon them that the blessed Helen had when she found the precious Cross.

Remember them, Lord our God, as you remembered Enoch, Sem and Elias.

Remember them, Lord our God, as you remembered the holy Forty Martyrs, sending down on them crowns from heaven.

Remember also, Lord our God, the parents who have brought them up, for the prayers of parents make firm the foundations of households.

Remember, Lord our God, your servants the groomsmen and bridesmaids, who have come together to share this joy.

Remember, Lord our God, your servant N. and your servant M., and bless them.

Give them the fruit of the womb, fair offspring, concord of soul and body.

Exalt them like the cedars of Lebanon, like a well-cultured vine.

Grant then rich harvest, so that, having all sufficiency for themselves, they may overflow into every good work that is also well-pleasing to you, and that they may see their children’s children like newly planted olive trees all around their table. And, having been well pleasing to you, may they shine like beacons in heaven, in you our Lord, to whom belong all glory might, honour and worship, now and for ever, and to the ages of ages.

( Amen. )

DEACON

Let us pray to the Lord.

( Lord, have mercy. )

And again, The Priest says the following prayer out loud:

PRIEST

Holy God, who fashioned man from dust, and from his rib built up a woman and yoked her to him as a helper like himself, for it was not pleasing to your greatness for man to be alone on earth, do you, Master, now send forth your hand from your holy dwelling, and link [Here the Priest joins their right hands.] your servant N. and your servant M., because it is by you that a wife is linked to her husband. Yoke them together in likeness of mind. Crown them into one flesh. Grant them fruit of the womb, enjoyment of fair offspring.

For yours is the might, and yours is the kingdom, the power and the glory, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, now and for ever, and to the ages of ages.

( Amen. )

The Priest takes the Crowns and first crowns the Bridegroom, saying:

PRIEST

The servant of God, N., takes as his crown the servant of God, M., in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. ( Amen. ) (three times).

He says this three times as he makes the sign of the Cross on each of them.

Then the Priest crowns the Bride, saying:

The servant of God, M., takes as her crown the servant of God, N., in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. ( Amen. ) (three times).

He says this three times as he makes the sign of the Cross on each of them.

Then he places the crowns on the heads of the Bride and Groom, chanting three times:

Lord our God, crown them with honour and glory. [EL]

The Readings from the New Testament

DEACON

Let us attend.

Prokeimenon Tone 8. Psalm 20

READER

You have placed upon their head crowns of precious stones.

Verse: They have asked you for life, and you have given them length of days.

DEACON

Wisdom.

READER

The reading is from the Epistle of Paul to the Ephesians.

DEACON

Let us attend.

READER

Eph. 5:20 – 33

Brethren, always giving thanks for everything in the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ, even to God the Father. [Finally], be in mutual subjection in the fear of Christ. Wives, be subject to your own husbands as [you are] to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the Church, and he is the savior of the body. As the Church is subject to Christ, wives should likewise be subject to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her in order to sanctify her, having purified her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present her to himself in glory, without any spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but holy and flawless. In the same way, a husband should love his wife as his [own] body. He who loves his own wife loves himself! No man ever hates his own body but feeds it and cares for it, as the Lord also does for the Church. Yes, we are members of his body, his very flesh and bones! This is why a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife; and the two will become one flesh. This is a great mystery: I speak concerning Christ and the Church. Now concerning you: each one of you must also love his own wife even as his own self; and the wife must respect her husband. [EOB]

PRIEST

Peace to you.

READER

And to your spirit.

PEOPLE

Alleluia. Tone 8.

Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia. [EL]

Verse 1:

Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia. [EL]

Verse 1:

Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia. [EL]

DEACON

Wisdom. Stand upright. Let us listen to the Holy Gospel.

PRIEST

Peace to all.

( And to your spirit. )

The reading is from the Holy Gospel according to John.

DEACON

Let us attend.

( Glory to you, O Lord, glory to you. )

[2:1-11]

( Glory to you, O Lord, glory to you. )

DEACON

Have mercy on us, O God, according to your great mercy, we pray you, hear and have mercy.

( Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy. )

Again we pray for mercy, life, peace, health, salvation, visitation, pardon and forgiveness of sins for the servants of God, N. and M., and for the people here present, who await your great and rich mercy.

( Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy. )

PRIEST

For you, O God, are merciful, and love mankind, and to you we give glory, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, now and for ever, and to the ages of ages.

( Amen. )

DEACON

Let us pray to the Lord.

( Lord, have mercy. )

PRIEST

Lord, our God, who in your saving dispensation were pleased in Cana of Galilee to declare marriage honourable by your presence, now too preserve in peace and concord your servants, N. and M., whom you have been well-pleased to be joined to each another. Declare their marriage honourable; keep their marriage bed undefiled; be well pleased for their life together to be without spot; and grant that they may reach a ripe old age, carrying out your commandments with a pure heart.

For you are our God, a God who has mercy and who saves, and to you we give glory, together with your Father who has no beginning, and your all-holy, good, and life-giving Spirit, now and for ever, and to the ages of ages.

( Amen. )

DEACON

Help us, save us, have mercy on us, and keep us, O God, by your grace.

( Lord, have mercy. )

That the whole day may be perfect, holy, peaceful and sinless, let us ask of the Lord.

( Grant this, O Lord. )

An angel of peace, a faithful guide, a guardian of our souls and bodies, let us ask of the Lord.

( Grant this, O Lord. )

Pardon and forgiveness of our sins and offences, let us ask of the Lord.

( Grant this, O Lord. )

Those things that are good and profitable for our souls, and peace for the world, let us ask of the Lord.

( Grant this, O Lord. )

That we may live out the rest of our days in peace and repentance, let us ask of the Lord.

( Grant this, O Lord. )

A Christian end to our life, painless, unashamed and peaceful, and a good defence before the dread judgement seat of Christ, let us ask.

( Grant this, O Lord. )

Having asked for the unity of the faith and the communion of the Holy Spirit, let us entrust ourselves and one another and our whole life to Christ, our God.

( To you, O Lord. )

PRIEST

And count us worthy, Master, with confidence and without condemnation to dare to call upon you, the God of heaven, as Father, and to say:

PEOPLE

Our Father, in heaven, may your name be sanctified, your kingdom come; your will be done on earth as in heaven. Give us today our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors, and do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

PRIEST

For yours is the kingdom, the power and the glory, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, now and for ever, and to the ages of ages.

( Amen. )

Peace to all.

( And to your spirit. )

Let us bow our heads to the Lord.

DEACON

( To you, O Lord. )

The common Cup is offered.

DEACON

Let us pray to the Lord.

( Lord, have mercy. )

The Priest, blessing the Cup, says this prayer:

PRIEST

O God, who made all things by your strength, who made the inhabited world firm and adorned the crown of all that had been made by you, bless too with your spiritual blessing this common Cup, which you grant to those who have been joined in the communion of marriage.

For blessed is your name and glorified your kingdom, of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and for ever, and to the ages of ages.

( Amen. )

Then the Priest, taking the Cup in his hands, gives them to drink from it three times; first to the husband and then to the wife, as he chants in the 1st Tone:

PEOPLE

Alleluia.

And the Priest at once takes them, while the Best man holds the crowns behind and over them, and leads them in a circle round the table three times.

Meanwhile the Singers chant the following Troparia.

Tone 5.

O Isaias, dance! The Virgin has conceived, and she has borne a Son, Emmanuel, who is both God and man; and Orient is his name; whom we magnify, as we call the Virgin blessed. [EL]

Tone 7

Holy Martyrs, who struggled well and have been crowned, intercede to the Lord to have mercy on our souls. [EL]

Tone 7

Glory to you, Christ God, boast of Apostles, joy of martyrs, whose preaching is the consubstantial Trinity. [EL]

Then the Priest raises the crowns.

First that of the Groom, saying:

PRIEST

Bridegroom, be magnified like Abraham, blessed like Isaac and multiplied like Jacob, as you go your way in peace and carry out in righteousness the commandments of God.

Then that of the Bride, saying:

PRIEST

And you, Bride, be magnified like Sara, and rejoice like Rebecca and be multiplied like Rachel, rejoicing in your own husband, keeping the limits of the law, for so God has been well-pleased.

DEACON

Let us pray to the Lord.

( Lord, have mercy. )

PRIEST

God, our God, who were present in Cana of Galilee, and blessed the marriage there, bless these servants of yours also, who by your providence have been joined in the communion of marriage. Bless their goings out and their comings in. Fill their life with good things. Take up their crowns [Here the Priest takes the crowns from the heads of the couple and places them on the table] in your Kingdom, unspotted and unblemished, and keep them without offence to the ages of ages.

( Amen. )

PRIEST

Peace to all.

( And to your spirit. )

DEACON

Let us bow our heads to the Lord.

( To you, O Lord. )

The Priest prays:

PRIEST

May Father, Son and Holy Spirit, the all-holy, consubstantial Trinity, origin of life, the one Godhead and Kingship, bless you and grant you long life, fair offspring, progress in life and faith, and fill you with every good thing on earth, and count you worthy of the promised good things of the enjoyment [of heaven], at the prayers of the Mother of God and of all the Saints.

( Amen. )

PRIEST

Glory to you, Christ God, our hope, glory to you.

READER

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit; both now and for ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.

Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy. Holy father, give the blessing.

May he who by his presence at Cana declared marriage honourable, Christ our true God, through the prayers of his all-pure Mother, of the holy, glorious and all-praised Apostles, of the holy Sovereigns crowned by God and Equals of the Apostles, Constantine and Helen, of the holy great Martyr Prokopios and all the Saints, have mercy on us and save us, for he is good and loves mankind.

Through the prayers of our holy fathers, Lord Jesus Christ, our God, have mercy upon us.

( Amen. )

Prayer for the Untying of Crowns on the Eighth Day

Lord our God, who blessed the crown of the year and granted that the present crowns be placed on those who are joined with one another by the law of marriage and apportion to them, as it were, the reward of chaste living, for those who have been joined together in the marriage which you have ordained are pure, do you yourself, by the untying of these present crowns, also bless those who have been joined to each other and keep their union indissoluble, that they may at all times give thanks to your all-holy Name, of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and for ever and to the ages of ages.

READER

Amen.

PRIEST

Peace to all.

READER

And to your spirit.

DEACON

Bow your heads to the Lord.

READER

To you, O Lord.

PRIEST

We your servants, Lord, having coming come together in concord, accomplished the office of the marriage in Cana of Galilee and removed the symbols concerning it, give glory to you, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, now and for ever and to the ages of ages.

READER

Amen.

And the Dismissal.